Sunday, October 23, 2005

Hazel and I are fighting today. Sunday mornings are never easy for me, but the last couple have almost made me convert to religion at home: including Teletubbies, Baby Einstein and Bongo (One of Disney's masterpieces). Before you send my visiting teachers over with freshly baked bread (or just tell them to leave it on the porch) listen to my plea: COME GET HAZEL!

I bought a few pair of rainbow pants and matching colored tops at the children's place a few months ago. At the time I was thrilled--they were only 99 cents each! Now, I look back and see this as an unfortunate mistake I only wish I could take back. Hazel wants to wear the clowny outfits everyday. I am calm when I first remind her that we wear dresses to church, not clown rainbow pants and shirts. I take out every dress in her closet and give her a choice. 'Oh look! Grandma Wells gave this pretty dress to you, let's wear this one!'
'No tanks'
'Oh Grandma Clark gave this one to you, I love this one.'
'No tanks' (louder)
'Wow, look what Grandma Dawn gave you' (all of her nice clothes were given to her by some smarter person who bypassed the clowny rainbow pants at the store)
'NO TANKS! NO TANKS!"
'Well you have to wear a dress to church.'
'No! Only Apple juice!'
'Okay you can have apple juice after you put on your dress!'
'NO! ONLY APPLE JUICE!'
I force a dress on. She pulls it off her body and holds her hands out quivering with maddness.
40 minutes go by, Hazel still in tights and a diaper. Church has started.
I stoop to the purple rainbow shirt. 'Here Hazel, let's put this on.'
'Oh! This one!'
'Yes, let's put this one on.'
Lucky for me, I also purchased a khaki skirt at the children's place which she allowed me to put on since we had the lovely shirt of her choice.
'Look Hazel, mommy got you some new black shoes for church! Aren't they pretty? Look at the bow!'
'NO TANKS! NO TANKS! Only this one!'
'The pink ones. What a surprise. Fine. Here let me put the pink shoes on. Let's go everyone, time for church.'
'No only gamma's house.'

On our way out...
'Hi Mommy!' as sweet as can be.
'Hi Hazel.' (Wait! I'm still really mad at you!)
'Only apple juice mommy'
'Okay, only apple juice.'

I'm inviting all next week to my house for church. Rainbow pants are strongly encouraged and only apple juice is served with ONLY the marshmallows from the lucky charms.


P.S. Would you rather have no hair on your body or be an exceptionally hairy person?

4 comments:

Katie said...

The Bishop came and asked me today about the financial status of the wells family. He said," It seems like that poor little wells girl only has one outfit to wear!"

katie said...

I love little hazey. So she may wear some funny clothes to church. Who didn't have a favorite outfit that belonged in the trash. Maybe she will get it out of her system now. I had my favorite ugly outfits that I wore in junior high. They weren't rainbow pants, they were "only" some Girbaud navy blue pants that were 5 sizes too big, and a man's eddie baur flannel shirt. I think that is more unfortunate than rainbow pants.

Jenny Mac said...

You are so lucky that you don't live in Berkeley- here a whole new meaning would be attached to that rainbow outfit and that could really be tough to explain about a 2 year old!

Ludbuster said...

When I have kids I am just going to let them run naked all of the time then I won't have to fight with them. I'm gonna be the coolest mom ever! In answer to your P.S. Q? I can't really decide right now. I will have to think about it.