Sunday, January 20, 2013

Cellular Phones Rule!

I got a new cellular phone (although I think the kids these days mostly just call them cell phones).  I've got to tell you, it is pretty remarkable!  I can make a call to someone, then hop in the car and drive, and still remain on the phone with them!  My cordless phone only lets me walk to my nearest neighbor's house.

There is also this thing called texting.  Texting is where you can write messages to friends and send them right over the phone!  So if I'm running a little late, I can "text" someone "be there in 5 minutes" and then I don't have to call.  And since I'm frequently late, it is a life saver!  Sometimes to make it cute you can add things like smiley faces from semi colons and parentheses.  :).  Then people are less mad when you're late because the text is so cute.

Cellular phones allow you to program phone numbers directly into the phone.  That way, when you're out and about, shopping or swimming (obviously), and you don't have your phone book, you can still call your friends!  I have great skill with the phone book, having worked with it so long, that I actually forgot to use my programmed numbers the other day and looked up a friends phone number in the phone book! Who would've ever thought we'd be living without a phone book?  Futuristic!

Some cellular phones can take pictures.  Mine can, but I can't figure it out, and I think the pictures turn out crappy.  But I'll tell you what--they're better than the photos my cordless takes!  Pictures can then be shared with friends and everyone can know just what you ate for lunch.  It is totally the coolest thing to do. It is also a really good idea to take pictures of yourself when you're looking your best.  Or if your waist looks extra small that day.   Then, you can show them off--but it totally doesn't look like showing off!  There are a couple of internet sites that allow for the posting of pictures to share with friends.  Look them up in google.

Cellular phones can even wake you up in the morning.  Goodbye old alarm clock!  Just place your phone next to your bed and pretty soon Katy Perry will be singing you awake.

I don't want to get ahead of myself,  but I've heard rumors of some cellular phones having video cameras and games and a robot lady that tells you directions and other things.  Again, not sure, but something to look forward to.

In conclusion, I'm really glad I got my cellular phone.  I mostly forget to carry it with me, and I think I actually left it in my mom's car yesterday cause I can't find it, but I feel like it is a really important decision I made.  You ought to consider getting one.  I wish someone had come up with them like ten years ago!

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Pour Some Sugar on Me

My new year's resolution to eat more sugar is going remarkably well.  It turns out, that sugar is in everything!  Especially in things I really like, like gummy worms and Coke.  I guess it's in "regular" stuff too, like cereal, jam and syrup.  Even fruit has sugar in it!  It has been, like, the easiest resolution ever.  And I'm not giving up now!  Not after all this hard work!

January 26th is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year.  By that time, the Christmas credit card bills are due, it is still winter, and most people have tried and failed at their New Year's resolutions.  I say most people, because there are a select few people who are actually succeeding at their goals.  I hate to brag, but, I am one of them!  I just can't see what the big deal is yet--you just pick something, and then do it!

I've done so well this year, I can't help looking forward to next year.  I may even "step it up" a bit!  (I think "step it up" should always be in quotes--I mean, don't  you?) adding salts and oils could be a good challenge in 2014.  I don't know though, I hate to jinx what I've got going now!  So anyway, back to my ice cream--but boy am I full!

Friday, November 09, 2012


Jed and I sat down to dinner with the kids last week with the intention of telling them something important.

Jed: Mom and I are going to tell you something about our family.  I'll give you three guesses what it is, and if you get it right, I'll get you a Slurpee.  If you don't get it right, I might get you a Slurpee.  Parley, you guess first.
Parley:  We have to clean the basement?
Jed:  Uh, no.  Hazel, your turn.  Think about something that might affect our family that mom and I might want to tell you.
Hazel: (looking around, hesitating, doubting)  Uh, mom's going to have a baby?
Julian: (interrupting and laughing) NO!  We already have a baby!
Jed:  Well, Hazel is right. Hazel just earned you guys a Slurpee.  Mom is going to have a baby!

Parley: Why?
Jed: Just because.


Jayne: So is anyone excited?
Hazel: I am.
Julian: I am.
Parley:  Uh, 75%.

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

Parley's Pick

We met Parley and Hazel on their walk home from school yesterday.  They were deep in a silly conversation and barely noticed us, but Parley stopped chatting to tell us something.

P:  I get to vote tomorrow.
J:  That's great buddy!
P: I learned that Barack Obama has two daughters and his favorite food is Chili.  His hobby is basketball.  Mick Rommey likes granola and he has 18 grandchildren.  He likes to go horseback riding.
J:  Cool bud, how did you learn that?
P: I read about it in a thing.
J: Who are you going to vote for?
P: Obama.
J:  That's cool, how come?
P: Cause he's been here for awhile and I still want him.
J:  Well that's awesome.
P:  Most kids in my class are going to vote for Mick Rommey because some of them say he's a Mormon.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Julian's Message

George: {Crying in the his car seat.}

Julian:  George, it's okay!  You're not being hurt by a poisonous snake that's biting you!

You're okay too, whoever you are.  Unless, indeed, you are being hurt by a poisonous snake that's biting you.  Then, you should stop looking at my blog and head to the hospital.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Girlie Glue

You know Katie by now--my 'can do' sister who helped me with my eighth grade algebra when she was in sixth grade? Katie, ever a size smaller than me, ever dazzling, ever creating.

Here's an awesome thing about being Katie's sister: no one asks me to do anything.  I just sit idly by and watch tv while Katie cuts my brothers' hair, makes dessert and sews tarps together to make scooter covers.  Amazing.

This time though, Kate has created something that may just be her best yet (and those scooter covers were pretty remarkable).  Really, I'm so proud of her.  She has created and manufactured Girlie Glue--an all natural glue to stick bows on little babies.  And it really works.  And there is nothing else out there like it! She's pretty great, my little sis.

And since Kate's strong suit has never been spelling (there, their, they're--help!) she said if I'd do the "word stuff" (well, and provide a husband for design) I could be apart of her Girlie Glue crew.  So, I'm doing something awesome now!  See?

Check out our website, ok? I did the word stuff.  Jed did the design.  And this glue is amazing.  Hazel uses it to stick some felt earrings on since she is terrified to get her ears pierced.  My nieces keep darling bows in their hair all day.

And if you buy some today, she'll know it was because of my blog, and I'll have that to hold over her.  And this might be my only chance.  Please?

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Go Team!

Can we make a pact?  I mean, just between you and me, human friend to human friend (the last pact I tried to make with the raccoons in my chimney ended up in a lot of banging and yelling, and a little ammonia--they just didn't keep their end of the deal).  There are just a few things I think maybe we'd all be better without.  Can't we make an agreement to get rid of these things?

1.  Treats at children's sports games
And heaven knows it's not because I don't like treats (have you read my blog bio?).  I love treats, and believe they make the world a happier place.  The problem is, Julian loves treats too.  And George, and Hazel.  So when Parley gets his Capri Sun and package of little doughnuts or granola bar, I have to hear crying and whining the whole way home.  It has become such an expectation for the kids that when a parent forgets to bring the treat, the crying seems worse than if the family pet died.  The sport is the least important thing to the kids.  I'm pretty sure I pay the $40 playing fee just for the Capri Sun and Fruit Snack at the end.

2.  and while we're on sports, Sports Team Pictures
Can you tell I just got home from Parley's basketball game? I know it must be a big money maker for someone with a decent camera, but team pictures?  I can't get the kids on Parley's team to pass the ball to him, so I don't really care if he has a photo with them.  And If I did, I'd bring a camera to take it. Today we marched from the gym to the grass outside and waited for our team's turn (giant line) for them to step on the risers for a shot.  In my brain I yelled, "boo."

3.  Political Posts on Facebook
So you're political.  You can't wait to vote.  You think your candidate is the handsomest.  He also dominated at the debate.  He is definitely the one to change the world.  You'll likely make millions during his years in office.  He'd for sure give a more amazing back rub than that other guy.  Really really amazing.  Likely with special oils and candles.  You'd probably look amazing getting that back rub too. You must post about it on Facebook. But wait!  Don't!  Just show us your dinner and kids instead!

4.  Jerks
Jerks are the worst.

5.  The jayniemoon banner
Isn't that like 5 years old?  And I swear she still has the spring looking banner up.  What's the deal with that?  Doesn't her husband design stuff sometimes?  Like for work?  Lame.

So, it's a deal then.

Remember this pact?  Still keeping strong here. You?