Sorry I've been absent lately. I've been on vacation. No I haven't! Dang it, I haven't!
While I've been away, some things have happened. Some important vows, which I hope you'll remind me I made, if some devil of a person or child tries to tempt me to break them.
I promise never to attend a wedding reception with my three kids ever again in my life. Unless, you know, it is the reception of my brother or dear cousin or something.
I'll never go to Walmart with Julian (and those others too) ever again. Ever ever ever ever ever ever again.
Because whenever I think, or am persuaded to think, that I'll be okay and that by some happy chance this time there won't be a long line at the reception, or that some angel will be giving out otter pops at the end of each aisle, all the while blocking Parley's view of every Lightning McQueen car that screams out, "I could be yours you know, Parley," I am wrong. Everytime I'm wrong!
I made the second vow tonight, after Julian refused to sit in the cart and insisted on being held the entire time at Walmart. Being held was still not enough, and he cried until I fed him tastes of everything in the cart. He ate raspberry after raspberry and wiped his berry red staining hands on my white shirt. I came away with lots of groceries, but I somehow think I missed most of what I needed. Parley's desperate need to go to the bathroom and Julian's desperate need to infuriate caused me to hurry in a very unproductive way. So, with a leaking box of Otter Pops (you couldn't have paid me to go back and trade it) in the trunk and a whole bunch of who knows what else, we drove home.
Some things that were said on our way home:
Parley: Do we have to go to bed today?
Hazel: Why can't we get a treat?
Jed: You guys are all lucky because Daddy feels like committing a horrible, violent crime, but I'm just too tired.
Reducing the world's crime rate, one vow at a time.