On Air Travel
Since I just traveled on an airplane I'm pretty much an expert on air travel. I made a few observations and I thought I'd share some suggestions with you in case you ever travel by airplane (popular way to go these days!).
Some tips for before you board the airplane:
1. You don't need to buy food before you board! Just relax and know that the generous airline sells cup-noodles for $5 while you fly! Sure, everyone is getting hamburgers and tacos before they board, but YOU, you are the one who everyone will envy when that stewardess hands you that Manchurian noodle cup. $5 of Y-U-M!
2. If you're tired, it's okay to lay across 4 chairs and sleep! Seriously, those people sitting on their suitcases don't mind! It's the middle of the day and you're tired. Take those 4 chairs--you're on standby!
3. If you have lots of make-up, wear it! Put on more make-up than you've ever worn! You never know who you'll meet on a plane--you for sure want to look your best.
4. Book a flight that lands at 5:30 a.m. (3:30 a.m. Utah time) so you have plenty of time to walk the streets (and parks and Dunkin' Donuts) before you check into your hotel. We've never done that, though, we've just heard it really rules and you're not tired at ALL.
Tips for after you've boarded:
1. Look at all the first class passengers in the eye. They love it! First classies love to have relationships with coachies and if you're feeling really friendly, strike up conversation about their work and how you could get a job there. If you throw out names like Brangelina, they may even let you take the extra seat next to them!
2. If you have to go to the bathroom while the stewardesses are serving drinks, just walk really close behind them. Even though you can't pass by them, YOU are going to be the very first in line when they get way back there to the back of the plane. Besides maybe they'll give you a few extra drinks while you wait for 40 minutes behind their cart!
3. The Sky Magazine is totally awesome. Don't think about bringing anything else to read.
4. But if you do bring something to read, make sure it is from the Twilight series. Then in super quiet moments, you can sigh and say, "Edward!". Then you can look around and see who is watching you. You'll lock eyes and start to make out. That would have worked out way better had Jed not been right next to me telling me to knock it off.
5. When you land the best thing to do is jump right out of your seat and grab your carry-on bag. Sure you'll stand in line forever waiting for the first-classies to put their pillows and foot massagers away, and stand in super close proximity to everyone still sitting down, but you deserve to be off that plane! Stand up and wait!
Like I said, and as I'm sure you can see, I'm pretty much an airline expert. And thanks to me, now you are too!