To Everyone in the Creamery Tonight
(Not Julian, or my bum, but nevertheless clearly painful)
I didn't want to take the kids in the creamery with me, but I did anyway. It was crazy, just like it always is when I take all three of them anywhere, but we were just getting a treat for Family Home Evening, so I figured the madness wouldn't last forever. When we got up to the checkout line, sandwiched between groups of students, I asked my boys to please stand by me--and not climb on the bars separating the to lanes. I asked again. And again, but this time with my eyes. I can make some pretty amazing "I mean it" faces. They came to stand by me.
The not-super-chipper-checkout student told me my total and just as I handed her my card, Julian bit my bum.
I jumped and, I'm afraid, squealed a little bit. It hurt! What would you do if you were bit really hard on the bum?
I wheeled around and with my eyes and angry lips and pointed finger said, "NO". Julian then collapsed on the floor and wailed because he'd been so severely disciplined. I could feel the eyes of college students with their half gallons of ice cream and cougar t-shirts holding hands (0r hoping to) with the other cute college student. They undoubtedly looked at each other with eyes communicating, "And even on the night of Family Home Evening!"
I scooped Julian up with the hand not holding the groceries, and the other kids followed behind asking (loudly) "What did he do mom? Mom! What did Julian DO?"
And then I went back in the creamery and bit everyones' bums just to see how they liked it.
No I didn't. But I should've. Maybe I will tomorrow.