Monday, November 08, 2010

To Everyone in the Creamery Tonight

(Not Julian, or my bum, but nevertheless clearly painful)

I didn't want to take the kids in the creamery with me, but I did anyway. It was crazy, just like it always is when I take all three of them anywhere, but we were just getting a treat for Family Home Evening, so I figured the madness wouldn't last forever. When we got up to the checkout line, sandwiched between groups of students, I asked my boys to please stand by me--and not climb on the bars separating the to lanes. I asked again. And again, but this time with my eyes. I can make some pretty amazing "I mean it" faces. They came to stand by me.

The not-super-chipper-checkout student told me my total and just as I handed her my card, Julian bit my bum.
I jumped and, I'm afraid, squealed a little bit. It hurt! What would you do if you were bit really hard on the bum?

I wheeled around and with my eyes and angry lips and pointed finger said, "NO". Julian then collapsed on the floor and wailed because he'd been so severely disciplined. I could feel the eyes of college students with their half gallons of ice cream and cougar t-shirts holding hands (0r hoping to) with the other cute college student. They undoubtedly looked at each other with eyes communicating, "And even on the night of Family Home Evening!"

I scooped Julian up with the hand not holding the groceries, and the other kids followed behind asking (loudly) "What did he do mom? Mom! What did Julian DO?"

And then I went back in the creamery and bit everyones' bums just to see how they liked it.
No I didn't. But I should've. Maybe I will tomorrow.

12 comments:

Kayli said...

Dude, that was hilarious. Started laughing out loud. Good times.

CSIowa said...

It's a good thing that as mothers we can still remember when we were self-righteous college students.

My daughter did that to me at the post office. She's 17 now, but I remember exactly how tall she was when she was four. Or at least how tall her mouth was. Thank goodness I was wearing denim!

Ginna said...

seriously what makes them think of things like that? i've never been bitten on the bum in a public place, but on the arm, the hand, etc. but WHY?
i think that a round of bum biting would've been completely appropriate. especially back in the back near the cartons of bishops bash.

Sarah Burgoyne said...

Haha, I read this first thing this morning. Thank you for starting my day with a laugh.

Zach and Codi said...

Did you make him kiss it better? Ha ha!! This was, yet again, another example of what makes motherhood so entertaining and exciting!! Sounds like our kiddos would get along quite nicely. Ahh..... kids. You totally should've bitten those lame college kids behinds!

megan said...

If you go into the Creamery with kids, you are pretty much asking for a bite on the bum.

I liked the time I tried to save a seat (very busy with students at the time) so I left my kids at the table while I waited in line. The little one wailed that his Mama left them and was never coming back, etc, etc. I still didn't want to get out of the never ending line so I just yelled to stop yelling. Stares, just like you.

See? The Creamery is no good. No good at all.

jed said...

when you go back to bite people, please schedule it with me. i'm not going to miss it.

love bug momma said...

too funny!

MBGITWWR said...

Oh, the nerve of biting bums on family night! And then the all to harsh "No" discipline! What has this world come to? Hahaha! I've had too many similar stories and I definitely feel for you. I hope your bum feels better soon. :)

Shana said...

Oh Jayne. I just am laughing but feeling so mortified for you. The whole scene is just too much. I guess it could have been worse. He could have bit the bum of a BYU student. But no, it really had to happen to you I guess. Oh my goodness.

Teachinfourth said...

What a pain in the…bum.

I'd bet if you HAD gone back and started biting everyone else's bums you'd have probably violated the honor code and been kicked out of the Creamery for life.

Good thing there's another one of them...

Rob Caldwell said...

I'm with Jed...please post when you're going to go back; that would be great comedy. :)