Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I'm Posting and I Didn't Even Have a Baby


A few months ago I got something in the mail saying that if we'd join some travel club with American Express we could get $200 in restaurant gift certificates. I normally don't do those kinds of things, but we do like to eat, and $200 was tempting, so I signed up.

I filled out all kinds of silly forms and jumped through a number of even sillier hoops. A few weeks later, I got two $100 Dining Dough cards in the mail. They look like gift certificates but say, "Not redeemable at restaurant--see back side for online redemption instructions." Another hurdle in the gift card charade! But since I'd come so far, and figured I was most certainly almost done, I might as well finish the process.

The back of the card gave me a special code and instructions on selecting gift certificates from restaurants (Choose from over 16,000 Restaurants plus Premium Online Partners!). When I got to the site, it allowed me to put in my zip code, to narrow down the search (16,000 is certainly overwhelming!). But what came up seemed a little too narrowed. As I scrolled down the page, the only restaurant that appeared on the list was Rice King Inside of Smiths. It included "inside of Smiths" as part of the name. If you're not from around 84604, you might not know what Smith's is. Smith's is our Kroger grocery store, and we, as it happens, have a Rice King Chinese take-out kind of place inside it. I scrolled to the bottom of the page to adjust the number of restaurants that would appear per page, as I figured there were certainly more options. I was disappointed to find out I was wrong, and Rice King Inside of Smiths was my only option within 20 miles.

Now, I'm not sure about you, but spending $200 at a Chinese take out inside your local grocery store sounds somewhat impossible. Unless you're in charge of a work party or church function, there is only so much beef an broccoli one could feasibly consume. But that's not all. As I clicked to learn more, I found that the certificates were basically glorified "buy one get one" coupons. Which means, I'd actually have to spend $400 at Rice King Inside of Smiths to use my certificates. I'd spend $200 of my hard earned Jetblue dollars (more than a week's wages!) and this great Dining Dough company would pitch in the other $200. Leaving my family with more Sesame Chicken and Lo Mein than we could ever dream of. Except on weekends--when the certificates aren't valid.

So, if you have a hankering for mediocre Chinese food inside of Smiths you know where to turn. But don't even think of calling me on a Saturday.

12 comments:

Anita Cramer Wells said...

can't wait for the next cousin gathering, thanks for volunteering all the food!
any choices closer to SLC? that is so lame!

Kelly said...

Wow! Now that is something to blog about. I hope you find some way to stick it back to them soon. What a waste of time.... and chinese food.

Caitlin said...

that is hilarious.

Stephanie Aurora Clark Nielson said...

i am waiting for your baby Jayne, just wanted you to know. I think about you all the time. love you

jed said...

i could find a use for $200-worth of sweet n sour chicken. won't tell you what for, but i could do it.

megan said...

Hope there is a baby now. Maybe if you at some of that Smith's Chinese food he would come quicker.

Zach and Codi said...

Break out the chopsticks I'm coming for dinner!!

ali said...

check my area code. we have an awesome restaurant here called "chinese and doughnuts". Between the two, I'm more than sure I could spend 400.

now have that baby!

Nancy Wells said...

If you need awesome Chinese on the weekend, just hop on a free flight and come over here.

Anonymous said...

Jaynie, my darling granddaughter, I am sure you remember the old saying, "You get what you pay for." I have questioned that at times and inevitably been wrong. Just buy some peaches at Allreds and devour those. I have heard that they speed contractions, and we both love peaches. Actually, peaches and Chinese Chicken sounds pretty good. Love you so much. Grams

Shana said...

I thought that was Danny holding those bogus certificates.

St. Julien's said...

ha ha. love it jane, i do those kinds of things way too often! i can't stop myself--and it usually ends up the same way. i did it for a camera one (of many) time(s) and it ended up being a glorified kids toy. it's good to know i am not the only one:)