Sunday, May 06, 2012

5K-K-K-Kount Me Out!



As we near the end of the school year, with it's track meets and testing, I'm reminded of when running and testing joined forces when I was a kid.  The program was called AAU.  It stood for something, but I can't remember what it was.  Athletic? America? Uncomfortable?  I don't know.  But it seems like some president, in an effort to "keep American kids fit," had us all involved in a mandatory athletic program where we were tested at the beginning, middle and end of the school year.  We had to do chin-ups (or the chin hang for girls) the wall sit, sit ups, and running.  Was there more?  Good heavens, I don't know.  But I do know I dreaded that running.  I wasn't a fan of the other stuff either, but the running--oh the running.  It seemed so long, the running.  Looking back, it was probably a mile (or less) but the pressure to beat your score from before was intense (intense, I tell you!).  It seriously seemed like the President himself (Reagan, now that I'm thinking of it) was going to come to your school and talk about you being unfit if you didn't improve your score. 

So I ran.  I dreaded the end of year run more than the end of year tests.  Those eight times around the blacktop just couldn't have been less welcomed--even at the time of year when the world is welcoming everything.  I've never liked running since.

You're not going to believe this, but someone came up with an AAU for adults.  Only instead of  being mandatory, it is completely voluntary.  And not only that, there is a charge for these kinds of AAUs.  And typically, the more times you have to run around the blacktop (or through the city along orange cones) the more you have to pay.  Some of the AAU's are called 5Ks.  Other AAUs are called half marathons and the big daddy of the AAUs is the marathon. 

It seems completely ridiculous, but people actually sign up!  They volunteer to run in the heat, with a pack of other disillusioned people and they pay money to do it!  At times I've wanted to stop a few of them and tell them it is free to run in my neighborhood.  And, just to make sure, I'd let them know that the AAU program has been over for a few years and they actually didn't have to subject themselves to the torture anymore.

Then I got a better idea.  Since it appears that the organizers of these adult AAU programs are making some good money (Our school needs pencils--come pay us to run!) I decided, I'd better keep this trend alive before all these adults find out that no one is keeping track of their score anymore.  I've decided to have a Help Jayne remodel her bathroom 5K.  It is going to be sometime in June (I'm really anxious to start tiling) and I'll set up some cones around my block.  I'll have to drive around and find out how many times you'll have to run around to make it a 5K, but I've got time.  Hazel and Parley will set up a drink station with my hose and if there's enough money left over, after I've bought the new sinks and toilets, I'll get some popsicles.  Likely those twin pops though, don't get your hopes up.  Those juice bars can get pricey.  $25 will get you a ticket to run in my 5K, and that includes a paper number taped to your back.  Julian is practicing his numbers, and I don't like to waste the paper.  You might all be number 1, but that's really all anyone wants to be anyway, right?

So, June 17 (I just looked at my calendar and it's free).  Plan on it.  10 a.m. at my house and all around the block.  I will also set up a bar for chin-ups, and my wall will be free for the wall-sit.  That will cost extra though.


12 comments:

melimba said...

What about the dreaded V-Sit? did you have to do that? That one was horrible, especially for kids who couldn't touch their toes (cough, me, cough).
I am with you on the whole running concept. Never understood it!
Great idea about your 5k. I should do the same thing here in Texas!

CSIowa said...

This is so funny! I hated the Presidential fitness in elementary school! (And I have a nightmarish memory of being on the kickball field with the PE teacher and all of my classmates screaming at me to "tag up" while I ran to home base and had no idea why I hadn't scored.) When my daughter started junior high she decided to try cross country and really enjoyed it (after the first two practices). At one of her meets the assistant coach said she was built to be a runner, "and so is her mother." I laughed! I am the non-athlete of my family. Two years later, my brother told me about a relay he was going to run with some of my siblings and their spouses. I decided that nothing would be more fun than hanging out in a smelly van with five other stinky, sleep-deprived people for 48 hours, so I started to run--slowly, and short distances. I solved my knee problem, developed and solved a foot problem, and found that I could do it. I even liked it, most of the time. Who knew? The race is this fall, so we'll see if I can sustain it. If I do, I will have spent a year of my life being a runner--something I never thought I would be.

Zach and Codi said...

AGREED!! The wall sit and chin hold... no problem. I was actually pretty good at those. But the running... ugh.... the running. I always felt like such a wimp. I'd always cramp up and *because I am one shade darker than albino* turn a bright beet red by the end of the 8 laps. For some reason I entered a race in the Hershey and when I crossed the line I was smiling because I was so happy it was over, then I looked over to see Cristin Warren (who'd been in the race with me) crying and realized that my time in the race was probably nothing to smile about.

Kimba said...

never have been able to do any kind of chin up to save my life. i would just dangle there while the coach told me to try, and i'd yell back, I AM! and the rope climb? fuhgghedaboutit.

Sarah Burgoyne said...

You forgot the shuttle run! At least we had to do the shuttle run in Maine :)

Jed said...

1 hour, 54 seconds. Wall sit.

Explains my sturdy thighs.

Tamsin North said...

How much will it cost me to not run your 5K?

Mom Lisa said...

Jayne maybe your kids could sell electrical wire nuts and coloring book pages like you did at your first grade class store! We could make play dough too. :)
I'm planning to set up my chair and a blanket on your lawn over night to watch all of the runners! Great idea Jayne!

Mom Lisa said...

It was President Kennedy who started the fitness test. We did ours right after we practiced hiding under our desks in case of a nuclear bomb. :)

bethanne said...

Lisa, so glad to hear that people thought the world was coming to an end then too ; )

Anonymous said...

Runners get a lot of mileage out of a marathon.

Love your work Jayne,
Gramps.

Santanakxrs said...

Lisa, so glad to hear that people thought the world was coming to an end then too ; )