Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Call Me, Maybe?

I don't have a cell phone.  It's not like I lost it or broke it, I seriously do not have one.

You: What? {gasp}
Me: I know!
You: Really? Why?
Me: I've just never got one.  I am home most of the time and no one really calls me there, so it has never  seemed to make a lot of sense to pay for one.
You: No, but really.  Why?
Me:  That's really why.  Sometimes I take Jed's phone when I go out.
You:  I can't believe it.  You've never had a phone?
Me: No. I know it's weird.
You: My grandma even has a phone.
Me:  Mine too.
You: So--
Me: I actually have been considering it lately.  It's starting to get so strange that it's kind of embarrassing.  Like when I go to Target and have to borrow the customer service phone to call Jed to see if we have bread.  People don't use customer service phones anymore.
You: Yeah. They don't.
Me: I've started telling the Target people that I left my phone at home.  I've taken up lying.
You: Looks like not having a phone makes you a bad person.
Me: Wow. I guess so.
You: You're a weird and bad person.  And your breath smells bad.  And you are a jerk and a loser.
Me: {in shock, eyes bulging}
You:  I'm sorry I had to say that aloud.  I would have just sent it in a text, but--you know--no phone.
Me: Yeah, I know.

Tune it tomorrow for our conversation after I tell you I don't have a Costco Membership.


neal said...

One cell phone has worked alright for my wife and I for the last five years. And if a text ever needs to be sent, I pass the phone to her, because I just haven't figured it out.

But our toddler is pretty ticked about our lame non-smarty phone. She's always doing complicated swipes at the phone screen to get it to zoom in or to move to the next app, but it just sits there. And then she throws it.

So, when she breaks it, which might be soon, we'll be considering the upgrade too. And maybe even two phones. We work from home, and two phones would allow us to phone from different levels of the house instead of shouting at each other.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh. You are a modern-day Erma Bombeck (you are too young to remember her but she was a GREAT writer about the everyday things in her life as mom/wife.

jayne wells said...

Neal! I'm not the only one! You and your wife and I would likely be good friends.

Anon, I am so very flattered. Thank you.

Lori said...

lol Jayne LOL.

Janssen said...

I don't have a Costco card either.

Sarah Burgoyne said...

Will and I spent $9.99 each for two track phones years ago. About once a year (sometimes less) we buy 1000 minutes for $100. We barely use them but find them handy for trips. Plus I like to know the school can get a hold of me if they need to. I feel safer with one but hate HATE the idea of a monthly bill.

Oh I don't have a Costco card either. I do have a Sam's Club card but thats because my parents pay for it :)

Tamsin North said...

My husband and I didn't have cellphones until about three years ago. Then I pointed out to him that I would be 9 months pregnant in february, driving on winter roads in Utah, and that sealed the deal pretty quickly.

Now we're all fancy with our iPhones and I am a pretty big fan, except for when it makes me accessible basically always. Phone calls, texts, Facebook, email... it all reaches me within seconds. Yikes.

Liz H. said...

i love it. thanks for the laugh! i didn't have a cell phone until 2004 and i thought i was really fighting the tide then. i still have a flip phone instead of a smart phone and sometimes i'm embarrassed to show it in public. no costco membership either. i wish we could hang out more, jayne :)