Saturday, August 26, 2006

In Case You Think I Didn't Know

We dressed Atticus and Parley in princess panties today. Katie tried to sneak a pair over Hazel's size 6 diaper, but Hazel doesn't let much slip by--especially if it is underwear. When sneaking didn't work, we praised Parley and Atticus for wearing their underwear. Niether of them seemed to mind the underwear, and both sported them for at least an hour. Hazel doesn't mind sharing her panties. In fact, if she doesn't share, they sit lonely in a drawer as they have since last summer when I bought them.

I laugh to think it has been a full year since I first tried to potty train Hazel. I read the books, I purchased the special Winnie-the-Pooh potty that makes flushing noises, I was prepared with exciting drinks and treats and stickers to reward Hazel. I was ready. I still am ready. (I have been ready since first call! I am ready! ROLL!)* However, Hazel was not and still is not ready.

Hazel says, 'One day I'll go to the bassroom on the toyet and Mommy will be so happy!"
Mom: Yes I will Hazel! Do you want to try today?
Hazel: I don't want to go to the bassroom on the toyet!
Mom: It's not scary honey. It's just like sitting on a chair.
Hazel: I don't want to go to the bassroom on the toyet!! Maybe tomowow!

I'm not surprised, this is Hazel. Hazel who only wanted to wear rainbow pants and shirts and would not dress up for Halloween. This is Hazel, who only recently tried ice cream (it took at least a year) and now will only eat it if it is in a cone--because otherwise looks different from what she knows. Hazel, who tells me ahead of time not to praise her, "Mom," (she says, a few pieces away from finishing a puzzle) "Don't say 'I'm proud of you.'" It should not surprise me that potty training, the mother of all changes, would cause Hazel strife.

So, in case you think I don't know about special Winnie-the-Pooh potties, gumball machines with treats, and very pretty panties, you're wrong. I'm currently offering a purple kitty, M&Ms, $1000 and a diamond ring. Well, what would you do?

I know the day will come. She assures me each day that the toyet is not scary and is just like sitting on a chair. Everyday I agree and put on a new diaper. Maybe tomorrow.

* From the classic, "Pee Wee's Big Adventure"


Star said...


You are the best at finding humor in the most frustrating aspects of parenting... YOU are the mom for Hazel! What an ornery and quirky little angel you have there! Reading your blog just makes me want to give her a big hug! However, I do think there is another technique you haven't tried that is probably going to do the trick (swallow your pride Jayne)... let her go around bare until she goes potty... it's a bit messy, but somehow it's failproof, so they say. Let's all hope that Parley and Atticus don't incur any lasting psychological damage from wearing pretty panties...

jayniemoon said...

Amazingly enough Star, I've tried that too. She wouldn't wear the new kind of diapers I bought, so I gave her the choice of those and underwear. She wouldn't wear either, so she went bare and held it for 4 hours! She was miserable and ultimately refused to go on the toilet. So, on with a borrowed diaper.

mama lisa said...

Your whole experiment was worth the trouble just to see those two cute, funny boys in those pretty big girl panties. So funny!