Tuesday, April 14, 2009

And Since We're Talking Ads

You know things are bad when hospitals are recruiting patients. It seems we can't watch one measly show without feeling torn about which hospital we'll support--if and when disaster strikes. Naturally, we wonder--are they talking to me? Do they know something that I don't know? Is this mole on my back cancerous? Oh, heavens, if it is, can I count on my nearby hospital? I've never seen an ad from that hospital mentioning cancerous moles!

There is something nice about feeling wanted, but when it comes to hospitals, I'd rather not be. These hospitals are banking on our accidents, diseases, viruses and infections to continue in business. Now they're begging us to come their way. You can almost hear those happy nurses in your head while driving to the grocery store: [You can make that turn! Take it! He's not that close!] or to your kids happily jumping on the trampoline: [Try a backflip. All the kids can do them! Jump a little higher...] And then because you did make that turn: [Mountainview Hospital....Mountainview Hospital!] And so even though your insurance only covers Timpanogos Hospital, you insist on Mountainview. And now there's a mortgage crisis.

You didn't suspect those smiling surgeons before now, did you?


Chuck said...

Oddly enough I was just trying to decide whether your mole is cancerous too... I'll let you decide...

Cancerous moles vs. Jaynes Mole

Anonymous said...

Have you started getting ads in the mail or phone calls about buying a burial (casket) plan????
Jaynie, you are so funny. I'm glad you had something on your blog to make me laugh today!

Anonymous said...

Hi Jaynie! Hope you guys had a great Easter! :) We did and it did not snow! That is always a plus here in Ohio. Anyways, I work in the medical field and we are starting to do commercials too. It's really sad. The thinking is that if we spend a little more $$ on commercials now, while times are horrible, we will come out ahead once they start to improve. I am not sure if that is the case, I am just glad I still have a job. The BAD thing is: for me to have a job, people have to be ill. For me to have a job, babies are in the NICU crying and dying. However, our products save these precious lives and that makes me proud to work here.
Jed, maybe you can star in our commercials? The kids would make cute patients too! :)

jed said...

kim (it's kim, right?)

in my line of work, i prey on people's vanity. you prey on physical illness, my dad is a shrink so he needs people to be crazy or really, really sad.

what a world.

but i'll totally be in your hospital's commercials. i'll have my agent contact your people.

megan said...

Yeah, really. Ads are getting out of hand. And I am with you on your last post...who sits around in a board room and approves these things? We talk about it all the time too.

Check this out for tacky. I thought of it from your mom's comment. Yesterday I got in the mail an add from a monument company, in which they actually included a laminated copy of my mother-in-law's obituary (of course with their name and address printed on it), with a discount coupon for their services attached. I laughed out loud when I opened it. Super tacky and not very tactful. Sigh.

P.S. I didn't really want to look at Chuck's mole pics :)

Lindsey said...

Chuck. I love you, but that is freaking disgusting.

Anonymous said...

Yep! It's Kim! :)

I know, we live it a crazy, yet beautiful, world! :)

I have people, you know. Over 200 and counting on facebook! I've got nothing compared to cjane! But, she is one of my people! I know, so impressive!

Lisa said...



Shana said...

Jayne, don't let the hospital ads make you do something crazy. I know how you are about feeling obligated to answer questions if no one else will do it so I don't want you to feel like you have to get injured just to help out the hospital folks.