We went to an totally awesome party the other night which included white elephant presents. I swear to you I found the best presents ever: An unreal and horrible version of that poem called "Footprints" (oh come on, you know Footprints) that was pasted into this petrified book spray painted (and no doubt treated with other special techniques) with tags on--meaning that someone manufactured them! Meaning there may be more still out there! I swore I'd take a picture of it because you'd never believe it was real, but I didn't. (Scott to the rescue?). We also gave some kind of carpet masterpiece kit--that when woven together made a picture of a dude shooting hoops. (Saying shooting hoops it way cooler than just saying basketball).
BUT--it turns out WE ended up with the coolest of all white elephant gifts: The Clinton/Lewinsky/Tripp/whoever else/ nesting dolls! I'm sorry did you catch that? A nesting doll of the whole Clinton scandal! And if that wasn't cool enough, they were originally owned by Jack Abramoff! True story.
Recap: Nesting Dolls, Clinton scandal, Jack Abramoff.
Best. White. Elephant. Ever. (Is that still cool?)
Can you top that? Like maybe you have nesting dolls that belonged to Bernie Madoff of Tiger Woods and a fire hydrant and a tree and an angry wife.
And don't you dare tell me a Snuggie is the best white elephant. That is a totally sweet REAL gift.
p.s. If you're looking for someone to take professional pictures of your nesting dolls, I think it's clear--Jed's your man.