Tuesday, May 04, 2010

When I Lost My Cool Today

I yelled today at Hazel's soccer game.  It was her last soccer game, and I yelled. 

The game had been rescheduled twice, since Mother Nature can't make up her mind about letting winter go, so we were glad to finally put a cap on the spring soccer season.  

We sat down to watch the game and were immediately made aware of that mother.  You know that mother.  She was yelling at all the girls on her daughter's team: Where should you be?  You should be covering her!  Number 8!  Get down there!  Do not let anything get past you--do you understand?  That mother.

Hazel was put in as goalee for the first half.  Jed and I enjoyed watching her play in the net, while whistling and digging her cleated feet in the grass.   She'll run with the rest of the girls when she's a forward, but since she's not really competitive, she ends up just jogging along a few paces behind the others.  So goalee has been a fun, new experience.  My only care has been that she have a good, happy experience playing soccer, so when she tried to pick up the ball a few times as goalee, I was pleased.  

The next half she was a defender.  When the ball came her way, she picked it up--forgetting she wasn't the goalee.  Again, Jed and I were just pleased that she made contact with the ball.  As the coaches set up a penalty kick for the other team, a cute girl on Hazel's team said, "She can be goalee if that's what she wants to be!"  To which Jed replied, "I love that little girl."  

So, Hazel dropped back to goalee again.  Soon after, she went to pick up a ball--but picked it up outside of the goal box.  The coaches weren't concerned about it (remember that they are 6 and 7 years old) but that mother took matters into her own hands and set up a penalty kick--pointing out for all to note that Hazel was outside of the box.  I started to feel mother-bearish, not wanting Hazel to feel embarrassed by her big mistake and I was ready for that mother to move it along.

And then, not 1 minute later, that mother's daughter tripped a little bit and grabbed the ball with her hands.  That mother didn't care to call a penalty this time.  

And now from Jed's point of view:

Yeah, this lady's antics had been noticed by the other parents on the line, and within earshot there were heard a few snorts of gentle derision: Hey, if I'd known we could step in there and ref, I'd have jumped in a few minutes ago.  Chuckle, Chuckle.

But when the little darling grappled with the ball in her hands and her mother was suddenly buttoned up, the murmuring began in delicate ripples.  The dads, a mom-- everyone wanted to know if someone was going to call that hand ball.  But Jayne, Miss Friendly herself, boiled over.  She went from zero to sixty in 2.5 seconds.  What started as a giggly gafaw erupted into a bellowing "Aren't you going to call THAT hand ball?!"  

It rang out over the field and bounced around the valley foothills.

Back to Jayne:

Yeah, I lost my cool at my six-year-old daughter's game.

I guess that makes me that mother.

P.S. From now on, we won't need to label whether it's Jed writing or me.  You'll be able to tell it is Jed if phrases like, "few snorts of gentle derision" are present.


k a t y said...

All I can say: I wish I had been present.

Kelly said...

Don't you just love THOSE parents?

I was totally shocked at my son's lacrosse game when this laid back lady I had been chummy with who has 6 kids and nurses in front of us at practice, starts yelling at her goalie son "don't you dare let anyone into your house!!!" It was like she had turned into another person.

Kim said...

Good for you for finally putting a sock in her mouth. I prefer duct tape, but your method works just fine too.

Bridget said...

Jed is a thesauraus and a dictionary all in one!

That mother... blahhhhhhhh is all I have to say. I'm embarassed for her.

You go, Jayne!

Zach and Codi said...

~First of all... LOVE the post.
~Second... wish I had been there to witness it.
~Third... Jayne, I would've done the same thing. People who act like that are just begging the rest of us to put them in their place, and teach them some manners.
~Fourth... you are not THAT mom. Not being your normal perfect self for 2 seconds actually makes the rest of us feel a little better about our imperfect selves. Thanks for pretending for our sakes!
~Fifth and final note... thanks for being our own personal "word a day calendar" Jed.

ali said...

go mother bear! did you apologize 67 times after you said it?

Anonymous said...

Awww. I was kind of a Hazel in sports too. All I can say is I'm glad you said something!

It's awful when everyone else is playing a different game and there you are...ready to go to the library now. Hazel is adorable. Keep her in sports and muzzle that annoying woman. If not you, maybe Parley can jump in!

criticalcrass said...

i wouldn't have waited for the ripples. i would've been in the ref's face, and i would've been glaring at her as i said exactly what you'd said. :]

Jen said...

the picture says it all. How did you capture that? I feel like I was there. I have been there!

megan said...

I'm always yelling out stuff when it's real quiet. It's like they all wait to stop cheering and talking until I am going to yell something dumb. Not that what you yelled was dumb...you were right on. Way to go Hazel too.

Anonymous said...

Hey--We're hooked on both you and Jed. Another great post!


lady lee said...

This just makes you the mother that grows a pair for to defend her kid.

and then politely tucks them away until needed again.

(weird fruit bowl visual I know. but I mean it figuratively.)

Anonymous said...

I love you!

Another Jayne.

Anonymous said...

And I'm laughing out loud about the politely tucking them away comment and wierd visual fruit bowl! awesome:)

Jayne B.

emily k. smith said...

There are precious few possessions in my life that I would not give to have been a solemn witness at your loss of coolness. Maybe you could reenact it at playgroup? Please? I'll be your best friend?

P.S. Was Jed so turned on?

Teachinfourth said...

Good for you!

We had a parent today who was cut off by someone on accident when dropping off her kid this morning. She laid on the horn and you could tell that she was ticked off. At this point, she proceeded to cut off somebody else at the next turn and suddenly doing this type of thing was okay…

So long as she was the one who got to do it.

Good for you I say for taking it down a notch for her.

Oh, and I hope you find your cool. If you need any, I've probably got some extra lying around someplace...