My kids are the kids that sit on those "ride on" cars or carousel toys while they're stationary and think they're getting a special treat. Mom stopped making them shop and let them sit on the toys. They sit there, happily turning the steering wheel and making car noises. Then, just as I'm convincing them to get back into the cart (it will only be a few more minutes!) another mom or, more likely, grandma, shows up with her two dolled up kids and feeds the machine two quarters. My kids' heads turn immediately to see where the special music is coming from. What? These toys move?! Suddenly, I am not the awesome mom, letting the kids sit on the riding toys, I am the mean mom who doesn't have quarters to make them move. At this point, there is no more shopping. There is only fighting, crying and bribing.
Moms, I swear we could make each others' lives easier if we'd just work together. So, let's all pretend those machines are broken. I won't put any quarters in, and your kids won't know they really work. Then, when I'm around, you won't put your quarters in, and we'll all have kids that are content to just steer.
I know we need to give grandmas a little leeway. Grandmas, you can put quarters in, but ONLY when no other kids around. We need to keep up the facade here. It can be kind of a magic power that only grandmas can get the machines to work. So, when someone else's grubby kids are playing on the grimy toys and they are NOT moving, shuffle your beauties ("my grandkids are cuter than yours!") over to the McDonalds and get them an ice cream till the other little pests are gone. Then use that retirement money (bragger) on those painted metal toys.
But moms, oh moms. Why do we make each others' lives so challenging? Let's make stained shirts the new thing! It's hip to have ketchup on your sleeve! Think of the time we could save instead of spotting so much laundry! Grease is awesome! Mustard baby poop stain? Cool! Are you in?
Oh, and one more thing. Ice cream truck: Music truck. (you catching on?)