I recently told my mom and sister, and then on another occasion, two friends, that I had 1,500 emails in my inbox. That was a big mistake. Did you know your very character could be judged by the number of emails you have in your inbox?
See, all of these ladies, with whom I frequently visit, admire, and hope to find my name in their wills, have twenty or less emails in their inbox. I know what you're thinking. Organized, efficient, on-the-ball ladies. And I wish I could say you were wrong, but you are, indeed, right.
So, by simply sharing that I had 1,500 emails in my inbox, I was outing myself. You could see it in their faces--1,500 emails? The nightmare! The horror! 1,500 emails, and in their eyes I could see my name being scratched from the wills, their children being entrusted with another, more worthy recipient.
But maybe, (just pretend) I have a real reason behind keeping all these emails. Maybe every email that is sent to me is filled with precious, kind words from dear friends and I can't get bear to throw them into the cyber-trash. Maybe, (keep it down) I have so many important emails including how to take over wealthy companies, what to bring when NASA sends me into space, or what gift to bestow when visiting foreign dignitaries in the near future. You just never know. You can't judge a person by the amount of emails in her inbox. You just can't.
But guess what? As of today, I only have 713.
You know, I just wrote some of that important stuff down from those 787 trashed emails. Not like I was just lazy previously or anything.