Thursday, February 04, 2010

10,000 Steps Behind
You never realize how filthy your house is until you have someone over. Then, as soon as they step in the door, those greasy fingerprints, burned-brown cook-top with crusty food, and yogurt covered windows pop-out like neon signs--though they've camouflaged themselves for a week (or more?). Suddenly, the good feeling you had about getting those breakfast dishes cleaned up turns into a horrible drowning feeling. You were just headed down to watch The Young and the Restless (you know you were) what, with those breakfast dishes done, but now, now that you're a failure, you can never justify tv again.

That happened to me this morning. And I thought I'd never recover. But then I thought of a would you rather (always a remedy!): would you rather have a cook or a maid? (vote to your left!)

And in my mind I chose maid, and imagined what I'd have her clean for me. Then I ate some gummy grapefruits (best candy ever) and got back to my show. Just kidding--remember the dtv switch? But I didn't clean that cooktop. I might wait till the next time a visitor shows up. That is hard crap to get off!

18 comments:

Megan said...

I'm so glad someone else has yogurt footprints and crusted mac and cheese on their stove. and i'm super glad some one else decides not to clean it either. 'cuz: hard.

robin said...

oh... my stovetop. it's real bad. it's like you wrote this post just FOR ME.

i should get on that.

but i probably won't...

CSIowa said...

Cook! No question. You can get along a real long time without cleaning, but everyone has to eat. I like to eat good food, but usually cannot be bothered to make it if there is something more interesting to do at the time, which there almost always is.

Amy said...

Stovetop: I just did this two days ago. Put a really hot wet washcloth on the gross part for about 2-3 minutes. Take a 'Magic Eraser' and scrub the junk off. Lots less work than I had anticipated.

Sarah Burgoyne said...

Truer words have never been blogged. No question, I would want a maid. I hate cleaning and I enjoy cooking. I really hate cleaning up after cooking. The only reason I do it is so that I don't have to play with my children while my husband does cleans up. Does that make me a bad mother?

Ginna said...

which is worse to clean? The stovetop (all the way to the inside ICK) or the inside of the fridge?
Maybe just asking that question reveals too much about myself. Do others wait until the inside of their fridge is so disgusting they just can't handle the 3 seconds a day they have to look at it anymore?
Yuck. I say both are worse. Gummy grapefruits and TV sound much better.

{Erica} said...

Where do you get gummy grapefruits? My mouth is watering...

Bessie said...

I felt compelled to share my secret of the Magic Eraser on the stovetop but Amy beat me to it! That thing works wonders on kitchen appliances! :-)

{I also buy the Target brand, Up & Up and it works just as good!}

~~Rhonda said...

Maid, maid, maid...gimme a maid. I wanna maid right now. I hate cleaning. I love to cook. I'll cook for my maid, too. Can I please have a maid? ~~Rhonda
::heading for the kitchen where the decorate-cupcakes-so-dd-can-take-them-to-school-to-celebrate-her-birthday mess is still sitting on the counter from last night...:: If I had a maid, she could do this for me...

bockychoy said...

I hate cleaning in the kitchen. My son threw a full glass of chocolate milk across the room a few years ago and it wasn't until the next day that I realized it had even sprayed the ceiling. Those brown spots have been there ever since. The whole room is kind of a disaster. Sigh.

jayniemoon said...

Wow! Thanks for the tip guys. But does that mean I have to go clean it now? Or can I just expect that since Jed reads my comments too, he'll pick up on it and take the challenge?

@Erica--Find these tasty treats in the Macey's bulk section. I'm out, so I'll meet you there.

@Ginna--I've been totally grossed out at my fridge too. So far, the 30 seconds hasn't been enough to get me to do something though...

jed said...

take the challenge? who are you kidding? i'm the one that usually caves and cleans that sucker.

i'm hiring that maid.

Janssen said...

My dad came this last weekend and I was suddenly all, "oh, um, yes, we still have our Christmas tree up and it's Feb. Why?"

megan said...

Hey Jaynie, just remember what we talked about yesterday. We all love to see crumbs and gooey stovestops and fridges (well I don't know if we love to see dirty fridges but we would at least appreciate them). What about dust? I think we can add that on too. What about the stuff the vaccum can't get along floorboards? yes, that too. We all LOVE to see it at other's houses because it's at all of our own too. It makes us feel better about ourselves.
So next time that happens with a visitor, just remember that you are actually helping them feel better.

P.S. The Young and the Restless? Days is so much better.

Megan said...

Jayne,I wrote you an email. Did you get it?

Jen said...

this is me exactly. The funny thing is, whenever this happens, i scour my house in a frenzy. Guess what- it is too late! It is like I think maybe they will come back in just a few minutes to do a double take and i can redeem myself. It is really ridiculous. I have found the key to an effortlessly clean stove. I begged for it last x-mas. Since I was pregnant and my husband is afraid of all the chemical cleaners I use, my begging worked. It is a don aslett steam cleaner. I dont know if you have heard me talk about my love of don aslett but I really do love the man. Anyway the steamer basically is like a mini power washer with steam. It just blasts it all away without the work. Same with microwaves, tile, anything. Now if it would just work automatically- then maybe my house would be clean right now.

Teachinfourth said...

Thanks for the sneak peek into your beautiful stovetop. I figure that more crusted-on food is a testament to the fact that you DO cook for your family...

Lucky ♥ Holly said...

I love your blog jaynie! I hate cleaning off the cook top too but if the pasta boils over and that hard gunk is really stuck on there I have a quick fix with NO SCRUBIMNG!
1)I boil the kettle
2)Pour the hot water onto the stove top but not so it gets any where it shouldn't like in the elements or gas outlets
3)When it cools around 10 minutes later (when I'm done wiping crumbs off the benches) I just use my kitchen cloth and wipe away all the gunk.
That's my super lazy way to clean the stove top.
xx
H